The curse of sex on a first date

It’s not voodoo, it’s not an evil spell but the curse of sex on the first date really exists : if you sleep with someone on a first date, you’ll never be girlfriend material no matter how many romantic dinners you prepare or how much you spend on sexy lingerie.

Seguitemi…

I met this guy, Matteo, nice boy but nothing to rave about, but he certainly had some sex appeal. After a bottle of wine and desperate to fill the void within my life, I ended up in bed with him. He was really sweet, the morning after he even sent me a text saying “to the sexiest journalist”, admittedly not very original, but still, I appreciated the gesture. Problem was after a few days he just simply disappeared.

Poof, ghosting, never to be seen.

I started a frantic exchange of WhatsApp messages with my friends and the trend topic was ‘men are assholes’, an evergreen when one of my friend, with the attitude of an old spinster, wrote “if you end up sleeping with a guy the first day you meet with him, what do you expect?”

It was my fault then! I gave him the impression of being too easy…..

Here the story ends and I tried to make amend for my sins.

But there is twist in this plot.

I am in villa Borghese with my friend Mauro, he went out with a girl, last night and they had sex. I am astounded. “so, what do you think?” I ask already knowing the answer

“it was beautiful” he replays blushing.

“yes, but what do you think of her?”

“Well, she is a cool one, she has no problem sleeping with someone on the first date, if she wants. I respect her, at last a woman who is free of prejudice, unlike the rest of you …”

If I were told two plus two is not four I probably would not have been that surprised. I am tempted to write back to the spinster on the chat, but I want to understand better. After a couple of days, I call my open minded friend and I ask him about this girl.

“It’s strange” he says

“but she has started to harass me because I did not call her up although I sent her a couple of texts”.

I try to make sense of it all and my conclusion is: if you sleep with a man on the first date he will like that but you are terrorized to be considered easy; so you start to badger him for reassurance, instead he feels hounded and disappears.

That is exactly what I think happens.

What is left is the curse of sex on the first date, and even if I don’t believe in it, I will certainly avoid it.